That Tight Shoe

We brought in the New Year last eve, dining at one of our favorite little Italian restaurants, sitting at the bar eating probably the best Bucatini all’ Amatriciana in town.  We talked about the decision to look forward -- not back -- and to celebrate the many next generation(s) of family, friends, neighbors, students, colleagues, clients and others who continue to give meaning to our life. 

            
Trust me, it often requires intention (aka attitude) to celebrate the future and to shape our life experiences going forward.  To keep my momentum, I long ago posted a one-page chart from a well-worn book above my standing desk.  The chart lists numerous traits or symptoms that best describe both an “Open” and a “Contracted” life experience …

OPEN	CONTRACTED
Ease	Effort
Prevailing trust	Constant worry
Relaxed body	Congestion
“Can do” attitude”	“Can’t happen” attitude
Collaborative	Competitive
Curious, asking questions	Judgmental, defensive
Sees opportunities	Sees obstacles
Generous	Withholding
Willing to take risks	Hyper-cautious
Laughs easily at self	Takes self too seriously
Energized	Exhausted
Fighting FOR	Fighting AGAINST
Resilient	Resigned
Grateful	Keeping score
Releasing things easily	Hanging on
Makes clear requests and agreements	Unspoken or value expectations
Generative, accountable	Consumptive, “victim”
Wholehearted, courageous and bold	Conflicted, fearful and timid

Victoria Castle, The Trance of Scarcity (2007)

To celebrate the future is like taking off that tight shoe.  It is a choice that does not happen by itself -- it requires not only intention but also action, especially during these complex times.  For that, be bold and remember Mr. Wendell Berry’s words which always spur me on … “It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.”   Happy New Year.